Here's Why Communication Is Crucial in Relationships
One of the leading causes of relationship issues is communication breakdown. It's easy to get complacent and being assuming our partner can read our minds, especially if you've been together awhile. However, the reality is, no one is a mind reader and communication is just as important on day 1 as it is on day 500.
Communication breakdown breeds resentment. And communication is often taken for granted and doesn't come naturally to many. In other words, it requires work. But the work is most definitely worth it.
Why Communication Matters
Conflict Resolution
Conflict is unavoidable. It will happen even in the most compatible couples. But what many don't realize is that conflict isn't always bad. In fact, it can be very productive... but only when you have good communication.
Approaching conflict with aggression isn't healthy and won't resolve anything. Instead, calmly explain how your partner's words or actions hurt or upset you. Be clear and honest. Take time to actively listen to their perspective, and work together to discuss how you'd like to approach the issue differently if it happens again.
They're More Than Your Significant Other
They're one of your best friends, too. And every healthy friendship thrives on effective communication. When communication is lacking, it's easy for you to fall out of touch with each other, putting your relationship development at a halt.
Developing your friendship using healthy communication is important in developing your relationship together as time goes on.
Creating a Deep Connection
Pay attention to the depth of your communication. Small talk is often white noise to fill silence or entertain. Effective communication involves taking a deeper look at each other beyond surface-level. It makes your relationship more meaningful.
While it might be hard to open up about some things, it has benefits. It can help you understand each other better and strengthen your trust in one another.
Communication Do's and Don'ts
Don't: Send Mixed Messages
Say what you mean. Sending unclear messages only creates confusion and misunderstanding. Be transparent about what you're feeling in times of conflict so you can get to the point and reduce tension.
Do: Be Respectful
Even if you need to get something off your chest, you want to do it respectfully. Respectful communication helps the other person feel at ease and more open to hearing what you have to say. Respect also shows your feelings for them.
Don't: Be a Passive Listener
Active listening means putting all your focus on your partner. It's known to improve your mutual understanding of each other. Passive listening can come off as disinterested or uncaring. Try to remain present.
Do: Remind Them You Care
Even if you think you're showing it, it's important to remind your partner you care about them, even during tough times. Over time, truly reminding our partner we care can fall to the wayside. Be more cognizant of how you express your care. Ask about their day, cook their favorite meal, leave them sweet notes.
Don't: Place Blame
When we are angry, it's easy to blame the other person for how we are feeling. However, we need to take ownership of our feelings and reactions. Instead of saying, "You make me feel this way," try, "When you do that, I feel unappreciated." This addresses an issue without making someone else accountable for our own feelings.
Do: Learn Their Love Language and Communication Style
Knowing your partner's communication style is important. Do they prefer it direct? Do they need space before responding? Do they prefer to text? Knowing how they like to be communicated with smooths out a lot of potential wrinkles. Learning their love language can also help you connect with them better and learn more about what they respond to best.
Struggling with communication breakdown? There's no shame in seeking support. Reach out to learn how you and your partner might benefit from couples counseling.
Click here for more information on Relationship Counseling.